The Good, The Bad and the Ugly....

It has been a while since my last post.

Since then I have been working diligently at uni  on my research. After a run of good luck, a brick wall that was holding back my research has been smashed!!!!!!

Great news!! Other pieces of work are also slowly but surely generating results as well. 

Still i refuse to take this for granted, science can have a habit of lulling you in to a false sense of security only to suddenly stop playing ball.

Uni Gym.

I have been beasting it in the gym as well. PROGRESS HAS BEEN MADE!!!

At my last body MOT, my weight had gone up a little (bad) however I had finally lost some fat!! In fact, since we started doing measurements it is now at the LOWEST it has ever been. Dropping half a percent. Not massive, but a very real and positive step in the right direction. All of my measurements show i am definitely gaining muscle and shredding!! WHOOP!!! The news gets better. My blood pressure is now normal!!! Granted it is on the cusp of what the medical profession call normal, but I'll take all the positive points that i can!! Since having the body MOT i have stood on the scales and they have indicated a small loss too!!! Extremely happy about this. 

When it comes to gym life, it is not lifting super heavy weights (I can now manage to squat 70kg - more than i weigh!) or big extravagant results that matter, it is the small improvements that i find to be significant. These small steps prove you are capable of change and spur you on to greater achievements. 

THE C WORD

From reading all of the above, you could be forgiven for thinking my life is nice and rosy right now. And I have to admit on paper, it isn't bad at all. But of course, life is not perfect. 

The volume of work, constant small pieces of misinformation, having to triple triple check everything, a supervisor that is a pro a not answering emails, undergraduates that believe your sole existence is to be your supervisors secretary/their minion, to clean up and re-stock after them. Yup. Feeling a shade annoyed and overwhelmed. 

Add to that.. Everyone else thinking they know YOUR limitations. Honey, I don't know what limitations are! But when they did their PhD, that was all they did. That and nothing else. They assume this is what everyone else needs to do, sitting on a committee is 'crap' and 'you need to focus on your work', you wont have time for the gym or judo, because you are doing a PhD. 

So much negativity. Truth is, if all i did was my PhD, then i would be really unhappy, i have never been the type of person to solely focus on one thing, i enjoy having hobbies...i might not always enjoy sitting on committees, but it is a good experience. 

One of my favourite quotes.

Let us face it, we've all experienced situations like this. 

So yes, i'm a tad annoyed. But then came something to really blow me out of the water. My Dad has been diagnosed with the big C.

CANCER

A word that one ever wants to hear. Luckily it is prostate cancer. I say lucky because recovery rates for this are really good. We are waiting for more tests. So for now I will say no more, other than it is a shock. 

If you would like to know more about prostate cancer, please click on the following link: http://prostatecanceruk.org/

Dare to try.

So begins a brand new month and I am in the fortunate position of spending the first week of it on annual leave. WOOOHOOOO!!!

As my personal tradition dictates, this means spending a long weekend with the family then back to the comfort of my own home. For most people a vacation means a vacation from the exercise routine. I try and be a little more adaptable than that. 

Now my parents are older they need a little help, so on this occassion a little exercise has included gardening (I defy anyone who has dug over a vegetable plot with clay soil to say that isn't exercise!!), also washing and polishing a car (took a good four hours!!), a little bit of walking the dog and because i can, a run or two. I am a firm believer than exercise can be done anywhere. And in an age where most people think of exercise as going to the gym or bootcamps, a lot of people forget that gardening and washing cars counts too. You get hot and sweaty, don't stop and also have the added benefit of fresh air and sunlight, both are great for your skin and mental health, which is JUST as, if not MORE important than physical health. 

Looking back over the last month, I find myself very relieved that i am on holiday!! I have worked so hard and am mentally tired.

But at no point did i stop going to the gym (proud of this) even if i went a little less, in fact the gym took on a different sort of meaning. It was no longer the place I had to go and slave for hours! Suddenly my focus became intense. I needed to go in, do the job and get out. All the students have returned after Easter break, this gave more incentive to get in, get done and get out.

To get out of the hustle and bustle of the gym, i started taking my cardio outside and have rediscovered a joy of running - after feeling as though my chest would burst from lack of air and pounding heart, outside is harder than a treadmill anyday, i have refound a past pleasure. Hell i have even signed up to a 10K race for early next year and am looking for reasonably prices ones nearby to do this year. Plus keeping my eyes open for a half marathon (eek!).

I have no idea if i have lost weight or shredded fat. But for once none of that matters. Why? because i have found discovered something. I have discovered I can achieve more than i ever thought possible. At the beginning of my current training programme 6 weeks ago, i could squat 65kg as a one max rep. Now, as part of my programme i regularly squat 4 reps of 60kg. I have dropped so many weights on the counter-balance for my pull-ups and tricep dips....two exercises i was adament to my trainer i couldn't do. 

Bench press with dumbells...never in my life used heavier than 8kg....until the 15kg i use now. It is amazing what this can do attitude, beast it in the gym and get done, whilst enjoying what a rest day or two can do for a girl!!! My gym trainer told me to believe in myself. So i dared to try, i dared to believe in myself and when all else failed i dared to put some cracking tunes in my ears and get on with it. 

This has really rejuventated me. I'm finding myself in the gym again. I'm finding my head space outside running again. Next goals are to re-find my judo mojo and confidence and then find my body (on this score i've spent most of today finding high protein breakfast meals and new evening/lunch meals to keep me from hitting the chocolate).

So go on! Dare to try! Dare to Believe! Dare to see what you can achieve!!!!