Training all out

Meh, last week was far from great. I ate too much cake (very tasty though) and only trained four times, but three days on from a PT session led leg day and i still can't walk normally. 

For a change I have not stood on the scales nor took any measurements. I did something worse. I tried on every item of clothing in my wardrobe. Yeah. Not much fits. It was a very depressing experience. 

That being said, it has made be determined to up the ante this week and train like a beast. Whilst the PT is away I have no-one to hold me back from over-training. (Worry not, I still plan to have at least one rest day. Got to love Sundays)

So to up the beast mode, I have designed a meal plan, with much reduced gluten, dairy and processed sugar. And before you think I'm doing this ALL for weight loss, i suffer badly with IBS and I don't know the cause, so I'm trying to see if reducing gluten and dairy intake helps me a bit. Obviously processed sugar is pretty bad, so yeah, that is a fat loss thing ;) 

Below is a copy of everything i plan to eat and train, oh and at uni, this week is Martial Arts Week, so I plan on trying lots of new martial arts, but still make time for at least one Judo session.

Nb. my week starts on a Saturday because that is when i food shop, but clearly the fun begins tomorrow...MONDAY is ALWAYS the day to take on a challenge. 

See what you guys think, any suggestions are welcome as are requests for any recipes for above.

What do you think? Over-training or manageable??

Beast mode is enabled!!!

Bipolar depression. Beyond the sufferer.

What do you think of when you hear the words bi-polar depression? Crazy person? A person so miserable they can't get out of bed? Someone who doesn't care about how they dress or look. 

Bipolar depression is a medical disorder where the sufferer has periods of extreme depression followed by periods of mania. 

You think the person's mood goes in waves of 'highs' and 'lows'. This is an over simplification of the issue. 

My mother is bipolar, has been since my teenage years. I've seen her during her 'highs'. Frankly it is worryingly impressive. Her energy is incredible, she can have the house cleans in a trice. She zooms around like she runs on energizer batteries. So why do I worry? Well, i cannot tell you the number of times i've stopped her walking out in front of cars. In her mind, she can stop them, in her mind, she is going to cross the road and NOTHING will stop her. 

But this isn't a wave we ride with frequency. More often than not we see her stuck at the bottom of a very black hole. She spends 14 hours a day in bed, she lives by routine, household chores are too much energy, even eating a meal is too difficult. She'd rather go out and have it made for her. 

Now I have the greatest sympathy with anyone suffering with mental health. I've seen it and their is a lot of help out there. So before i go further, i want to say if you, or anyone you know is suffering depression. You are not alone and their really are people/places you can turn to for help. I write from the UK as such i can say they best people to talk too are your GP, use the NHS, use the charity MIND. 

However, i write this post, not as someone who suffers, not as someone you knows what this illness is like. But as someone who has seen it in a loved one, as someone who has been a carer. And let me tell you, Bipolar is bad enough the person afflicted, but it is truly awful for the family as well. Children become carers, partners suffer. Your partner is put up on, until they are drained and exhausted and suffering themselves. Your children may end up suffering from depression to an extent. They may experience friends turning their backs on them, because they can't understand, they can't deal. 

Depression is still a poorly understood illness. The toll is paid not only by the person that suffers, but by the family as well. Your life will never be normal is you are waiting, on tender hooks, constantly for the phone to ring to say they have put themselves in hospital again from self-harming.

Here is my message. If YOU are dealing with someone that suffers a mental health problem. You are not ALONE. And as hard as it is, be a little selfish and look after yourself, make sure you get help if you need it, make sure you have people that you can trust and talk to. Make sure that you are never so affected that you risk developing mental health problems yourself. That is a deep black hole that is hard to get out of. BELIEVE ME. Take up running, go to the gym, do something, do whatever it takes, to make sure you remain the person you are. 

Stay strong. 

Stay Healthy.

The misconceptions of PhD students

In the two years I have been studying for my doctorate, I have came across numerous misconceptions. It could just be a UK thing for all I know. But recently It has been thoroughly irritating me.

So here they are:

1. I will be a doctor at the end of the process (correct) - therefore i can be asked in passing about medical issues. This is  HUGE bugbear of mine. All doctors are not created equal. I will not be a medical doctor as I have not done a medical degree. I will be a doctor of science (rather generic no?). It seems that beyond academia people do not understand the difference. I am tired of explaining the difference and it is putting me off using my hard earned title (assuming I pass my viva)
2. I get 16+ weeks holiday a year - basically people think everyone at university, gets stupid long holidays. NOT true (though lord above, I wish it was). A PhD is a job. You get 25 days holiday a year. No more, no less. 
3. I have exams all the time - whilst this is true for some universities, it is not the case for me, I have one massive oral exam at the end. Please don't ask me about this, it is a source of much stress. 
4. I only do a few hours a day - again, this might be true for a few students. But most of use treat this like a job, a 40hr + a week job. Yes sure, I may leave work at 4pm. But I am at work for 7am. Some days i do stupid hours, for example, last Friday i did an 11 hour day. And I often work  extra hours at the weekend. 
5. Your supervisors know what you are doing - definitely not true, sometimes you get one that is completely clueless, so clueless it leaves you bemused as to why he is your supervisor. They often have no idea what it takes, experimentally, to get the work done. 
6. You can have no life - sadly this is a fight, most students will loose. I fight very hard for gym time (it keeps me sane) and a bit of judo time (well some social interactions is required) but general outings with friends do go by the by a bit. It is sad and takes a person far better than myself, with more energy to be perfectly social.
7. Experiments will always work the second time  - PAH! This is science. Sometimes it doesn't work, because for reasons beyond explanation, it bloody well doesn't want to
8. You supervisor is 'shit' on you occasssionally - it happens.  Sadly you just have to deal. Not really any different to having a boss. 
9. You are paid well - Utter rubbish. Whilst those of us on Stipends do get this tax free, it is well below the national average. In 2014 the National average wage was £26,500. Most PhD students get paid around £13-14, 000. Yeah. That's right. Peanuts. Most of us live hand to mouth, savings are a thing of dreams. And no, before you ask, it doesn't increase in line with a rise in minimum wage. For the whole of your PhD you will see ZERO change in your income. Oh and as soon as you submit, your stipend stops. So have that job ready, but remember, re-writes and corrections will then been done, unpaid, in your own time. 

So their we have it. 9 Points. All of which I have had to answer/deal with this week. Despite this. I do like my PhD and as hard, difficult, depressing as it can be. I will be grateful on the day i wear my cap and gown, that i have done this.

The angst of listening to others lose weight - week 2 and zero gains.

What a great week!! I've been to the gym four times in seven days, weight trained on each occasion and even gotten back into my spin classes. :) Hit a new PB on the squat rack of 60kg! I've eaten less processed sugar and more fruit and veg!! ALL GOOD. So why when i stand on the scales have i gained a pound?!

It is not fair. I listen to my friends in the staff room who have all started Slimming World or Weightwatchers whom in the first week have lost 5lbs each! 5lbs!!! I'm like, but you are only dieting?! I'm eating better and exercising and in week two I have gained the pound i lost in the first week!! WHAT THE DEUCE AM I DOING WRONG HERE?? I have literally lost nothing, not each an centimetre off my waist.

So i sit back and think. OK. Well my goal is bodybuilding, so maybe I've gained a pound of muscle. That can happen in a week right? I mean i have no idea, honestly, if that is even possible. i suspect that i would be delusional to think I can gain a pound of muscle mass in a week. I have loads of fat to lose so what is going on?

It has been a real knock to my confidence. I cannot lie, it took me a while to climb out of bed this morning and i experienced a lot of negative thoughts. I have finally plucked up the courage to take a picture of my body:

Plenty to be working with. I have came up with two options.

1. I'm not doing enough cardio to burn fat
2. I'm eating better, but eating to many carbs and calories in general

This is something for me to work on this week. Cardio I can do something about, indeed I have booked in for 3 Spin classes this week. In addition to weight training. I will attempt yet again to improve my diet. But with out the advice of a nutritionist I am not sure how much improvement i can make on my own, whilst their is a lot of information on the Internet, sometimes it is too much and too contradictory. And as a student, a nutritionist is out of my price range. Which leaves me to figure this out for myself.

But let me end this blog on a positive note. For their is positives to be taken from this week.

1. I am making an effort to improve my health
2. I 'feel' stronger - which i like
3. I have more energy
4. I have less spots - adult acne is a pain, and this week not one new spot (jinxed it now I'm sure)
5. I am happier - perhaps not in my body, but in my mind - and this is a big and important change.

I hope, you, my readers, are keeping to your resolutions. And having more success than myself. If you have any nutritional advice that is cool, i would totally appreciate it.

And remember. Not all changes occur on the outside. 

Week 1 - change has begun

What a week!! Anyone else body clock having issues resetting to stupidly early mornings?? 

This week has been all about finding my feet, ready for the big progess and changes ahead of me. I have cooked healthy meals, ate healthy snacks (this is super hard as i still have christmas chocolate in my house!) and started to figure out my exercise program. 

I have genuinely enjoyed cooking healthy this week, mostly becuase it has been easy and after the excess of christmas, a welcome change to my body. I've enjoyed quorn chicken stir fry, wholewheat spagetti bolognase and my favourite dish was chicken wrapped in bacon. This dish is healthy, tasty and worked out at less than 50p a portion for the meat!!! I was so impressed I am going to share the receipe:

• Packet of chicken thighs or breast
• Packet of bacon - cut the fat off
• 1 large orange - grate the rind and juice
• 1 large lemon - grate the rind and juice
• oregano
• chilli powder
• garlic
• parika

 Wrap each piece of chicken in one rasher of bacon. Mix the juice and rind of the lemon and orange with three crushed garlic cloves, 1 tsp of parika, 2 tsp of chilli powder and 1/2 tsp of oregano. Pour over the chicken and bacon and marinade for at least an hour. Cook at fan 180 for 50 minutes or until juices run clear. Serve with brown rice and side salad. Absolutely delicious!!

I've been to the gym and let me tell you after three weeks of barely moving my butt, those classes were a killer. FTR circuits and abs core and flex on day and a bike class that left me wanting to vomit another. Of course my goal is to become ripped (well at least develop some muscles) so i've done weight training and also been to judo (again vomit worthy session). In order to really hit my goals this year, I headed to the gym to see my PT and talk throuhg what i wanted to do. He gave me three separate programmes to work specific areas of my body and then put my booty through its paces. 48 hrs later and descending stairs still presents a challenge. 

Change has began and progress is in motion. I hope you have all enjoyed  the first week of January and that your resolutions are on track. Tomorrow i'll put up my new stats (weight loss or gain?? what do you think?) and guys try the receipe!!

Body Sculpting - The starting Point

So the results are in.

The starting point of my journey has been measured on the scales and with measuring tape. And i cannot believe i am putting this all in a blog for the whole blinking internet to see. I hope this gives me the motivation to persist and reach my goal (and motivate others too!)

Weight: 67.8kg (150.2 lbs or 10st 9.4 lbs depending on your system)
BMI:24.31

Waist: 91.5cm
Right Thigh: 59.5cm
Left Thigh: 57cm
Chest: 95.5

Picture: Ok NOT confident enough to put one up, perhaps when i have made progress!

Verdict - I'm a fatty lumpkin. Urgh. Lumpy Bumpy body. But think looking preggars when definitely not. This, THIS, is my starting point. Let us take a moment to look at the figures. BMI is 24.31...25+ is considered overweight. My waist is 91.5cm, healthy is considered below 80cm. My waist to hip ratio is 0.87, again healthy is considered 0.85 or below for women. So it is obvious that really i'm not all that healthy. I stand to gain much by training and eating right.

To that end, the last few days has included batch cooking and a meal plan has been actioned. The house has been decluttered, a clean and tidy house means one thing to get less stressed over. I've pruned, preened and cleaned myself, I might be a tubby little lady at the moment, but their is little point changing the inside if outside you look in a mirror and still feel miserable about what you see. I'm trying to look after myself better in all aspect of my life and that includes looking at myself and feeling ok about what i see.

At fairly regular intervals I will post updates on my journey to transform this lard arse to lean machine. At some point i will get my friend (a gym trainer) to take additional body measurements, including, fat%, Blood pressure, heart rate etc.

And so on that note, it is time to hit the gym and get a sweat on!! 

2016 - A fresh start

Hello 2016 and Happy New Year!!!

I hope you have all had a wonderful Christmas and fun filled, slightly over indulgent New Year celebrations!

I have had a nice relaxing Christmas, lots of food (far too much) and alcohol. Good company, good TV and a few games (I won at Scrabble for the first time ever!). And now I am facing with the beginning of a Brand New Year.

I LOVE New Year. The 1st of january screams a fresh start to me. The days are slowly getting longer, the weather, well the weather remains balmy (cheers el nino and global warming), the lifeless plants begin to awake and green shoots start to appear and trees begin to blossom. Every issue, every struggle of the past year, is offically in the past. It is an opportunity to make a change, to set new goals, aim for new heights. Have new experiences, meet new people and go new places. All of these things, can of course, be done at any point in the year, but for some reason to me, it always feels as though the start of a new year means any ambition is completely achieveable.

In a previous post i set out my goal to sculpt my body. This remains my goal. In a few days when i have plucked up the confidence i will put up a brutally honest blog with pictures. I'll put my weight and measurements up. I'll hide nothing. I'm not going to lie, i do not look great. To create the best version of me by my 30th Birthday is my resolution.

But I have other goals to achieve. I want my brown belt in Judo. To run my second half marathon, to run a 10k in under 50 minutes. To learn to have guilt free time, where i actually rest, a day where i do not go to the gym, where i do not do PhD work (unless completely unavoidable), where i enjoy tidying the garden and growing my own food, or curl up on the sofa and read a nice book. Or just to go out with friends for a coffee or lunch and not worry about everything that is waiting for my attention. Honestly I am probably going to find this more difficult to achieve than sculpting my body! I'm not good at going guilt free.

I hope that you all have a fabulous new year!!